


The Secret Game

by thatzodiacsky



Category: Kagerou Project
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-28
Updated: 2014-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-17 07:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1379911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatzodiacsky/pseuds/thatzodiacsky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Combination 'Happy Birthday Seto' fic and 'oh god those novel spoilers' fic. Setokano. warnings for mentions of child abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Secret Game

Their stupid tradition began on Seto's seventh birthday. Kido proudly presented him with a crayon drawing she'd done of the six of them, and Ayano beamed as she handed over a little stuffed dog she'd picked out with Ayaka's help. Nearly in tears with gratitude (but he was always near-tears back then) he'd turned to Kano expectantly, only to be met with a laugh and half-hearted excuse.

Something about Seto's betrayed expression must have cut through the other boy's pretenses, because while he continued to laugh it off as long as everyone else was awake, that night he crawled into Seto's bunk bed instead of climbing up the ladder to his own.

"Wanna know a secret?" he teased, and Seto, all offenses forgotten, nodded with wide eyes. Kano often spun tales or invented memories for himself, but to be told one of Kano's secrets-- that was something to be treasured. "Ahh, but here's the catch-- the secret is your present this year. You're not getting anything else from me." 

"I don't care! If you tell me something real--" Seto bit off the end of his sentence, but Kano knew what he meant. Seto had only just started to gain control of his powers, so he knew the falsehoods that Kano was capable of, possibly better than anyone else. If Kano really was going to be honest with him, then Seto would accept that in place of any gift.

"Alright, here goes," Kano whispered back, keeping his voice low so the parents didn't hear their chatter and come check on them. "I made you cake as a present, but I ate all of it."

Seto gasped in mock horror, and lunged at him, and in the flurry of their fake wrestling that lasted long after they should have been asleep, Kano thought the incident had been forgotten.

...

That was, until next year, when Seto turned eight, and it was his turn to clamber into Kano's bed after the lights were out. 

"Hey, what secret do I get this time?" he asked, burning with curiosity. 

Kano hadn't expected anything like that, and he laughed to buy himself time. "A secret? That's really want you want for your birthday?"

He half expected Seto to be kidding, but the smaller boy just nodded fervently, adding, "it has to be something you've never told anyone! And I won't tell either. Promise."

Randomly grasping for something to say, Kano blurted, "I broke one of Ayaka's plates by accident last week, but I hid it so she won't find out."

To his surprise, the statement was true, and he blinked. Maybe there was something to this whole 'honesty' thing after all. 

"That's not so bad. I kicked a ball into Dad's study and knocked over that big globe. I think you should just tell her," Seto advised, rolling over to peer at him, one of his cheeks squished flat by the pillow. Kano had already had his share of truth for one day though, so he changed the subject right away.

...

The year Seto turned nine, Kano was ready for him. Seto had hardly to enter the room and start changing into his pajamas when he flopped off the top bunk and sat crosslegged on the floor, watching him. 

"I'm jealous," he announced out of the blue, and Seto blinked, in the process of trying to find a pair of matching socks. The fact had been weighing on him for over two months, and once he'd settled it being his secret for the year, it was like he couldn't wait to tell it. "That's my secret for you. Happy birthday. I'm jealous 'caus Ayano and Kido are girls and they get to have girly secrets and stuff. I wanna be that close with Nee-chan too." 

Since he laughed and shrugged as he said it, Seto almost doubted him, but everything he'd said so far had turned out to be true. For Kano's part, Seto had never told Ayaka about him breaking the plate, so he figured he could trust him with something a little heftier.

Anyway, Kano did feel easier once he'd told his secret. He relaxed and grinned up at the other boy before shimmying up the ladder to go to bed himself. "Good night," he trilled, doing his best not to add 'thank you'.

...

When Seto turned ten, Kano couldn't think of anything knew he wanted to tell him. He puffed up his cheeks as he thought, and Seto waited patiently, swinging his legs and humming. Finally, Kano opened his mouth to speak, and Seto turned towards him with an expectant grin.

"Calm down a little! It's not that exciting," Kano laughed, a little doubtful if he should tell him what he was thinking of at all. But since he'd already thought of it, he couldn't go back now. He tapped his nose before speaking. "When I was little, b'fore the whole dying thing, my mom broke my nose. It was an accident! She was just throwing some stuff away and I got in the way. So it healed all crookedy, but then it got fixed when I got powers."

Seto was staring at him, with wide upset eyes, and Kano felt bad for dropping it on him like that. He promised to himself to never make the secret that serious again, and used his powers to make his nose crooked and practically upside down. "So I should look like THIS," he declared, eyes glowing red in the darkness, and Seto's ensuing shrieks of laughter brought the grownups in to check and make sure they were okay.

...

For Seto's eleventh birthday, Kano was excited for days beforehand. He'd thought of the perfect secret, one that would make Seto laugh like before, and not be sad on his behalf. He could barely wait, fidgeting through dinner, until they were alone in their room. It was getting a bit small now that they were so much bigger, but they still fit crammed together on the bottom bunk, facing each other, with knees drawn up to their chins. 

Kano smirked, and Seto grinned back at him in response, eager to hear what Kano was trusting him with now. "Okay, so," Kano began, and Seto leaned in to hear. "The other day I tried on Ayano's uniform."

Seto spluttered with laughter, and Kano raised his voice to still be heard. "I reaaaally liked it," he announced, striking a pose. "It suited me!" 

Laughing far too hard, Seto curled up and promptly rolled off the bed, his giggles still audible. Kano followed him, hanging over the edge of the bed to whisper in his ear. "You wanna see? I bet I'm super cute. You should try it on too."

"Stop it!" Seto gasped, too overcome with laughter to say anymore, and Kano grinned in victory.

"Okay, but me stopping is your birthday present," he replied teasingly, and Seto had to give in.

...

Seto's twelfth birthday crept up on him, which was stupid because it was squarely between he and Kido's, and he should have been expecting it. They had their own rooms now, and much less strict bedtimes, and when Seto came and leaned against the door frame of Kano's room, he barely had seconds to prepare.

"Persistent, huh?" he drawled, spotting him from the corner of his eye, and Seto gave a guilty laugh and shrugged. "Alright, c'mon and sit down."

"It's like a bedtime story! You should tell me secrets every night," Seto chirped, sitting backwards on his desk chair and folding his arms under his chin.

"If I did that I'd run out of secrets in a year or less!" Kano replied, shaking his head. "Boooooooring."

"Ehh, don't give me that. I believe you have more than three hundred secrets," Seto teased back, and Kano had admit he was probably right.

"Okay, but this year is gonna be a boring one." Despite Kano's disclaimer, Seto still shuffled the chair closer to hear. "Okay, y'know I'm super popular, right? The other day I got asked out, but I turned her down."

"Huh? Why? Didn't you like her?" Seto asked, baffled. 

"Nah, she was boring and nosy. Almost as nosy as someone I know." Kano replied, shrugging. In truth, he didn't really know why he'd done so. She was a classmate, and not someone he hated, but he hadn't felt like he could trust her at all. Not the way he could trust Kido and Seto.

"I'm not nosy!" Seto protested, "you're not allowed to insult me on my birthday, anyway." Kano couldn't remember that being a rule, and they argued good naturedly about it for awhile.

...

The next year Seto's thirteenth birthday rolled around, and Kano felt like they really should have outgrown these stupid games years ago. He tried pretending he was already asleep and pulling the covers over his head, but Seto was relentless and tickled him until he sat up, raising his hands defensively.

"I yield! I yield!" he wailed in mock despair, and to his credit Seto let up on the tickling.

He sat back on his heels and waited for Kano to start talking, and when he didn't, he scooched closer again. 

"Alright, alright," Kano gave in with a laugh. "I cheated on that test on Friday. I do it a lot, actually, I write the answers on my arm and use my power so no one sees."

He'd guarded that secret pretty carefully, scrubbing the ink off his forearm and being sure not to get it on his uniform, so he was surprised when it rolled off his tongue like that. Somehow the security of knowing Seto wouldn't tell anyone was enough.

Seto made a reproachful sound, and Kano's head shot up, staring at him. "You said you wouldn't tell!" he accused, and it was Seto's turn to raise his hands in defense.

"I won't, I won't!" he promised, and Kano completely believed him.

...

Seto's fourteenth birthday loomed closer, but Kano couldn't summon the energy to even think about what secret to tell him. He was so focused on not telling either of them anything at all, that by the time Seto showed up with a cheerful bounce that evening, he still hadn't thought of one.

"I skipped school yesterday," he said quickly, before Seto could speak, and then waited for him to leave.

"I know that," Seto replied after a second, coming into the room the rest of the way and going to sit at the edge of Kano's bed. "I mean, we're in the same class."

"I don't care, that's your secret and you're not getting another one," Kano told him, crossing his arms. There was a whining edge to his voice that almost felt childish and nostalgic, but there was nothing playful about the words; he wasn't going to budge.

He could feel Seto watching him, but he refused to look him in the eye. It was Seto's birthday, but that didn't mean they had to cater to him. They weren't kids anymore, and Kano was sick of the way he refused to grow up. It wasn't fair.

"You could tell me why you skipped school as my secret--" Seto suggested, but Kano gave a brittle laugh, his head snapping up to stare at him.

"Wow, getting greedy huh?" he said, his voice bitter, and Seto froze.

Kano waited for Seto to say something else, but he just got up and quietly left. Kano gave a ragged sigh and rolled onto his stomach to stare at his hands and practice making them look small and feminine, instead of like the bony shapes they were.

...

By the time Seto's fifteenth birthday arrived, everything had changed. Ayano was dead, and they shared a room again, but mostly because their apartment was so tiny that there was no other choice. 

It was just the three of them, and sometimes Kano wondered how Kido stood the silence, having a room of her own. He'd spent the past few months growing to rely on the sounds Seto made as he puttered around getting ready for bed, and when Seto curled up at the foot of his mattress, he almost didn't realize something was out of the ordinary.

"It's my birthday," he said helpfully, and Kano jumped, suddenly remembering. Last year felt like a lifetime away, but still he felt guilty and uncomfortable when he remembered. Why had Seto brought it up again?

He wracked his brain for any secret to tell, any secret at all, and moved to kneel next to the other boy. The walls were thin as paper around here, so he better be quiet if he didn't want Kido to hear. He'd settled on something goofy and non-committal-- 'I'm the one who accidentally put bleach in with the darks'-- and put a hand on Seto's shoulder to balance himself as he leaned in to whisper it to him.

Seto reached up to put a steadying hand on his waist, and though it helped it seemed to throw his mind off balance, because when he leaned over to whisper, his lips brushing Seto's ear, what came out was "I think I like guys more than girls."

Kano's face flared red and he jerked back. It wasn't like he hadn't been worrying over that, but these past few years he'd had so much more important things to think about that it had been the furthest thing from his mind. Seto gaped at him, and Kano couldn't bear to stick around and see what he was thinking.

His heart pounding, Kano forced a snicker, waving his hand dismissively. "Better shut your mouth before a fly flies in! Anyway, happy birthday and all that."

Aware that he hadn't been very convincing, Kano hopped off the bed and left the room, deciding today was the perfect night for one of his evening strolls that were becoming more and more frequent lately.

...

Seto's sixteenth birthday arrived, and despite his best efforts, he was scheduled to work all day. His last shift ran late, and when he texted Kido to let her know, she assured him that they could celebrate tomorrow instead. 

Around eleven o' clock that night, Kano heard Seto let himself into the apartment. He wasn't sure if he'd remember the secret game, so he tried to look bored and like he had nothing to say as the other boy came closer down the hall. But then the footsteps stopped, and a door creaked open, and Kano sat straight up with a scowl.

Where before it had been just the three of them, now there were four of them, with the addition of Mary, and Kano just couldn't get used to having another person around the apartment. She sat in his chair and used his favorite cup and just generally seemed to be the center of both Kido and Seto's attention.

Kano kept forgetting she'd be home every time he came back, and every time he was unpleasantly surprised. And now he strained to hear if Seto was even going to leave her room tonight. It was his birthday; Kano guessed he could do what he wanted. But that didn't mean that it didn't sting to think that Seto had forgotten the silly tradition altogether. Although, maybe that was for the best, considering what had happened last year.

When Kano had almost given up and decided to head to bed, the door opened practically silently, and Seto let himself in, holding up a finger to shush him. He shut the door behind himself, making as little noise as possible, and plopped down next to Kano on the bed.

"'kay, lay it on me," he said without preamble, turning with a grin towards the other boy. 

Kano was so surprised, it took him a second to pull himself together. "Ehh, I dunno, if I delay for an hour and it becomes the 29th, then I won't have to do it at all, right?" he drawled finally, shooting him a sideways glance. "You were almost too late altogether!"

"That's not how it works!" Seto objected cheerfully, still waiting. Kano knew he wasn't getting out of it, but somehow he didn't want to. Like before, he had a little knot of negative emotion tangling in his chest, and it wouldn't go away unless he could say it. Although, even if he said it, maybe it wouldn't leave.

"You ready?" he asked, and Seto nodded. Kano considered scooting closer and whispering in his ear, but that hadn't gone well before. Besides, he didn't care who heard. "I don't like her," he announced, and he knew Seto would know exactly who he was talking about.

Seto let out a long sigh, and Kano expected he was going to demand and explanation, or tell him to give her another chance, that it hadn't been long enough yet. But Seto surprised him again.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked, glancing over at him. Kano gave a befuddled nod.

At first, Kano thought Seto was leaning in to whisper in his ear this time, but by the time the other boy's hand cupped his cheek and he realized the angle was all wrong, it was too late. Seto kissed him softly, seeming not to notice that Kano was far too stunned to move. 

When he sat back on his heels, still so close his knees pressed against Kano's shins, he said with a smile, "Please don't hate her too much."

Kano couldn't do anything other than breathe, staring up at him in shock. It seemed like his reaction or lack thereof was enough to put Seto to shame, because Seto laughed a little nervously, pulling his hand away and scooting back to give him room.

"What was that for?" Kano demanded finally, his brain finally beginning to move again.

"I dunno," Seto replied, "can I do it again?"

"I dunno," Kano imitated, pitching his voice the exact same way, and Seto laughed for real this time, helpless chuckles that shook his whole body. 

"Is that why you always want me to tell you stuff?" Kano asked after a second, and Seto shook his head.

"No! It's just, I figure if we both live to be really old men, eventually I'll know everything about you." It was so cheesy and ridiculous that Kano would have expected him to be making fun of him if it had been anyone but Seto at least. With Seto, it was certain that he was just being painfully genuine as usual, and he had to laugh.

"Fine, but from now on I'll tell you secrets for your birthday, alright?" Seto nodded, his expression confused; how was that any different? "And for mine, you can give me that kind of secret."

Seto's face lit up, and he leaned in to kiss Kano again, but Kano clapped both hands over the other boy's mouth, the teasing grin lighting up his face again. "Ah-ah! I said on my birthday, right?" 

"But that's not for foreeeeeeeeeever..."

"C'mon, be a little patient," Kano taunted, and though Seto gave in, that didn't stop him from diving for him and pulling him into an uncomfortable hug that somehow turned into tickling and play-fighting. 

When Kano found himself tucked under Seto's arm, his hair ruffled and his breathing fast, he snuggled against his friend's chest. As Seto pressed a light kiss to the top of his head, Kano thought there was something nostalgic about it after all.


End file.
